august is the end of summer for me, though the hot texas sun seeps into september, not ready to step down from the spotlight. lamp’s “poetry of august” perfectly encapsulates the feeling of closing out this month, the fading of summer dreams, getting back into the routines both dreaded and longed for. now i have responsibilities. i can no longer hopelessly listen to music and write for hours in reverie. the lazy days of summer are slipping away like sand.
school started again mid-august. the first day was terrible, but things are getting more hopeful. i am happy with my few friends that i actually talk to in-person, happy with the friendships that only consist of sending videos to each other and quiet quick glances in the hallway, happy with the relationships that are only glued together by the common burden of classes.
me and j sit together at lunch every day. we don’t talk most of the time, like an island of calm in the bustling sea of the cafeteria. i usually read my book of the week, and she works on classwork or does something on her phone. and it’s okay. i love it. i am really happy to be her friend.
on other days, i sit with e. it is quite the opposite from sitting with j, but not better or worse. we walk around for most of lunch, scavenging for food and people to bother. i love e. her energy is infectious and liberating. she brings out my talkative side and makes me crazy. sometimes we sit outside, the sun warming our faces, because it’s supposedly so #2000shighschoolcore.
i like getting to school early. there’s a peaceful solitude in those quiet moments sitting in the stairwell with the giant windows that beckon the sun in. i often walk around with my headphones on, reading a book. and then i stop once a lot of people start making their way in else i get labeled as “pretentious.” two weeks ago, i got my hands on upstream by mary oliver. long-awaited and perfect timing. she makes the mundane magical.
the switch of schedules each year reshuffles the deck of friends and acquaintances. the hallway is a maze of strangers and familiar strangers. some people who were the highlight of my day last year seem to have vanished. or sometimes we do cross paths, but we just walk on by, leaving our memories behind us. in a way, it’s telling of which friendships we are willing to work for.
this is the last year to forge relationships with these people. then we’ll go separate ways and maybe unfollow each other. the impending end of high school looms like a deadline. i wonder which friendships will withstand the test of distance and time and which will fade away like so many yearbook signatures. will we recognize each other at the ten-year reunion, or care to?
i tend to grieve the end of things when they have barely begun. oops.
the anticipation for cooler days grows within me like a seedling pushing through frost-hardened soil. (my nigerian blood is not strong enough.) most of my clothes are winter clothes— sweaters, cardigans, boots— which is fine in the arctic chill of my school’s classrooms, but makes my walk home after school treacherous. the bus drops me off a considerable distance from my house. most days, i walk alone, accompanied by my thoughts and toquinho and gilberto gil. or i catch up with v on whatever new is happening. i don’t walk through the houses like i used to, but on the path that winds through the wispy, abundant plants that have lost their summer bloom and the brief shade of the whispering trees. when i approach my house, that bunny is always there, sneaking through my backyard or nestled among the dying flowers no one wants to tend to.
the academic year is still in its infancy. the heavy deluge of classwork has not quite hit yet, but give it a week or two, and the floodgates will break open and wash away the last vestiges of summer’s carefree spirit.
but! i have several goals for september: start writing the story that has been ruminating in my mind, get back into my flute grind, listen to new music, make one new friend, write five poems, write a song, spend more time in nature, drastically reduce my social media screen time, start drawing again, and find out the cause of my morning stomach issues that crush my daily motivation.
oh, and college applications or something.
august has been good to me. i ate a lot of peaches. enjoyed a lot of pink and purple and yellow and green flowers in my kitchen. found many new poems i have come to cherish. lots of strawberry cheesecake ice cream and good music. i started getting into cooking. many of my friends have gone off to college. walks with my siblings to the lake. and of course, komorebi! august is komorebi season. but as the summer’s warmth wanes, slowly and inexorably, the sun will no longer have to peek through the tree leaves because the leaves will have fallen, a golden carpet beneath our feet.
so long!
Hope you have a wonderful final high school year! 💕
i adore the way you describe your mundane <3 i hope this school year is good to u and u reach all ur goals!!! 🩶🩶